“You,re right! Uncle John. I was scared shitless!” “So was I dear Joe. All my boys were and I couldn,t doa fucking thing to save even one of them!” That was the only time he ever discussed the war with me. By 9 pm Joh. Was passed out on the sofa so Tillie got a blanket and pulled it over him.”He,ll sleep it off and be ready to start all over again in the morning!” She told us. “Is it killing him?” Sarah asked. “Of course it,s killing him! I hate to think of the state of his liver, but down deep he,s still a good man and loves you two.” She replied truthfully. Sarah not much later excused herself as we,d been drinking white wine and wine makes her sleepy. Tillie and I said we,d just watch the end of the TV movie and then we,d turn in. Twenty minutes later I. Necked and Sarah was fast asleep. ”She,s fast asleep.” I told my aunt. She poured out another glass of wine and announced she was just going to put on her pyjamas. Fifteen minutes later she came back in just a baby doll nightie. .Sometimes I dream that I am a man; young and strong. I dream I'mjogging. I think... I think I used to do that... every morning."I allowed her to continue but she didn't. "Do you think that's all itis? A dream? Nothing more?" No," she said. "It happened. I was a man. I'm sure of it. I was a manin my forties."I almost dropped into a chuckle but I stopped myself. That would havebeen unforgivably rude and I shouldn't have been surprised by this."I had a wife; and a family. I had a job. Yes. And a car." Sheshuddered. "A ghastly big monstrous thing."I narrowed my eyes, surprised that she should describe it that way. "Doyou remember your name?" When I was a man?" Yes."She stared off again. "Mmmm..." After almost a full minute she gave atiny shake to her head and chewed her gums. "You know it's completelyslipped my mind."I sighed quietly to myself and set my pen down on the pad I'd broughtwith me for the interview. "There's no hurry. Just try and cast yourmind back. Let the memories come.".
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